The rabbit tells the tortoise, “I’m faster than you, you slow freaking animal.”  The tortoise nods, knowing full well that this rabbit’s Achilles Heal comes in the form of self confidence to rival Hitler’s, albeit of a simpler and less genocidal nature.  How does the tortoise know this?  That sucker sat around and watched the rabbit, watched him ’til his face turned blue, and figured this out.  Similarly, I’ve noticed myself doing such things.  When in a group I generally like to listen, to receive rather than transmit.  You can learn a ton of things by just watching body language and they people react to one another.  We all know this, but I don’t think that most of us actively pay attention to it.  I don’t think of myself as some great philosopher of languages unspoken, but I do think a fairly broad knowledge of physical reactions is very important.  We all have this innate understanding of body language, but seldom to people go out of their way to acknowledge it.  So next time you’re ever in a situation where you can just sit and watch, take it.  You’ll probably learn a lot about your friends that you didn’t know.

So the Olympics are currently underway in some European town.  I generally enjoy the Olympics.  Curling is pretty cool.  There’s one sport that I don’t find too attractive, though, and that’s the luge doubles.  It’s not the fast speeds or the quick turns that I don’t enjoy, but I just don’t think that I could be the guy on top.  As much as hurtling down a small, icy halfpipe sounds like a lot of fun, I wouldn’t want to be the guy who has to lean back on top of the other guy.  There’s just something about having another dude’s perch jammed in the small of my back while we both nearly break the sound barrier that gets me.  Every time I would get a gold medal I’d lose a little bit my self worth.  “How did you win the gold medal?” the announcers would ask.  “I don’t know, but I’m getting a little tired of this guy’s crank hitting my spine.”

Some ask, “Why do you always write so negatively about everything on this website?”  I reply, leaning coyly on a fireplace mantle wearing a fez and cloaked in my favorite robe, “Why not, my friend?  Why not?”  There are those who seek knowledge through finding peace with everything and everyone, and there are those who find that understanding what upsets them is a natural process in dealing with life that is ultimately also a pacifying one.  If we are to assume that everyone is not perfect, then it is only reasonable that no one can be all good; therefore faults exist, and most are of the skin-deap persuasion.  Seeing what others try to look around is one of my talents.  If big, ugly boots get on your nerves, it’s ok to say so.  Likewise, if a loud, boisterous she-devil gets too close and invades your bubble, then it’s perfectly alright to say, “Sweet, Tap-Dancin’ Moses get out of my bubble!”  Being polite to everyone is a good quality; one that has its many virtues.  But on the same token it is not alright to forfeit your right to be a jerk every once in a while.  Success comes in two parts: the first being able to cooperate with people while on the trail to success, and the second being able to understand that for every time you grab another rung, that is taking the potential from another – which is “bad” for others, as they do not get the job or girl or house or what have you.  So in essence, me pointing out the foils and downfalls of society is just like understanding success: while there may be trash left behind, it has to be done if we are to progress with life.

And if you believe all of that then you’re crazy.

When 2001: A Space Odyssey came out, I’m sure there were some people who thought that some of the things that went on in that movie could realize their potential in real life.  Space ships and long voyages and crap like that were supposed to be commonplace when we turned to the 2000s.  Instead we have idiots running the world and the bird flu.  Something tells me that during this century, there’s going to be a few moves about the future.  2110: Back to Budakai or 2305: Redonculous Date in the Future will come to a hovering theater near you.  What we’re going to find, though, is that when 2110 or 2305 rolls around, all we’ve accomplished is depleting the world’s oil and crapping all over ourselves trying to fix that problem.  The Middle East will be one collective hole, and South America will sink into the ocean.  I don’t care about all that.  I just wish movie writers would give it a little thought beforehand.  Flying cars?  No.  Nuclear Winter?  Yes.