You’ve all seen him. He’s that guy. The guy who comes whether he’s invited or not. The guy who makes sure to stand around and wait for you to walk by so he can follow you and make the once jolly trot miserable. You take longer and more difficult paths to your destination to avoid […]
I swear the next time I see some douche walking around using the speakerphone function of their cell phone I’m going to flip out ninja-style and pull out their jugular. If you’re walking on the sidewalk, the ambient noise is enough to make you put the cell phone right up to your mouth while you’re […]
I don’t want to come off sounding like a bigot, but if people don’t want to promote stereotypes, don’t find yourself doing them. Case in point, this one guy who literally sleeps a good four to five hours a day on the couch in the lobby. He happens to be black. I don’t care what […]
The rabbit tells the tortoise, “I’m faster than you, you slow freaking animal.” The tortoise nods, knowing full well that this rabbit’s Achilles Heal comes in the form of self confidence to rival Hitler’s, albeit of a simpler and less genocidal nature. How does the tortoise know this? That sucker sat around and watched the […]
So the Olympics are currently underway in some European town. I generally enjoy the Olympics. Curling is pretty cool. There’s one sport that I don’t find too attractive, though, and that’s the luge doubles. It’s not the fast speeds or the quick turns that I don’t enjoy, but I just don’t think that I could […]
Some ask, “Why do you always write so negatively about everything on this website?” I reply, leaning coyly on a fireplace mantle wearing a fez and cloaked in my favorite robe, “Why not, my friend? Why not?” There are those who seek knowledge through finding peace with everything and everyone, and there are those who […]
