Could I Get This Salad Supersized?

posted in Food, Past Goodness on May 16, 2004

So the McDonald’s now has the Adult Happy Meal. I was very underwhelmed when I bought one. Fist of all, all you get is a salad, a bottled water, and a thing that tells you how many steps you take. In the normal day, I don’t go very far. If I wanted to know how many steps I take between my bed to the couch to the fridge, I could count them myself. I don’t need any of this crazy McDonald’s voodoo telling me. Second of all, this is an “Adult” Happy Meal. When I saw the sign I pulled out a few singles and folded them tent style when I drove up to the drive through. To my dismay there was nothing that had anything to do with things being “Adult.” All in all, though, I must say that it’s not too bad. I’m just waiting until they deversify a little bit and have Happy Meals for all age groups. They could have the Teen Happy Meal, which includes a burger, fries, a drink, and, for the boys, a Playboy stolen from your dad’s collection, and for the girls, an instruction manual on how to throw up everything they just ate so they can continue “fitting in” in high school. Along with the Teen Happy Meal, they could have the Elderly Happy Meal. It would include mashed peas, denture cream, prune juice, and on the box would be a picture of Bob Dole. They could have a random prize inside; because we all know how old people love surprizes. They could include everything from Depends, to Viagra, to a free voucher to test drive a Hover-round at their local dealership. Lastly, they could have the College Happy Meal. Any meal inside is fine because college students will eat anything. The prizes, though, could be anything from bottle openers to the Morning After pill. Come on McDonald’s, don’t leave the rest of the age groups out!