I Bet You Won't Do It

posted in Miscellaneous, Past Goodness on Mar 2, 2004

At what time did canines get involved in the daring process of the common American? First off, we have the dare. It’s the beginning of a normal ritual involving two or more people who want to do something, but are too chicken or insecure to do it themselves. But when the two involved in the dare are both sissies, the Double Dog Dare comes along, and if those stakes are not enough, the Triple Dog Dare. But when did our happy housepets become part of the equation? According to the artists of the world, dogs are just like humans: they play poker and smoke while doing so; so it is likely that they would be of a wagering sort. But a more plausible solution would be of some sort of ancient bartering system. In some far away land dogs may be a symbol of authority, and to give two or three away on a bet would be considered an action of strength. It probably started with two folks sitting at the Acropolis in Athens. “I tell you Platus…” says the first. “Yes, Copernileo,” says the other. “…that you won’t go over to those supa-fine honeys and lift up your toga and give ’em a show.” “Shoot, sucka,” says Platus, “you won’t do it either.” “I tell you what, Platus, I have these two dogs here that says you won’t do it.” “Really Copernileo? Is that so? Well these THREE dogs says you won’t do it. What up now fool?” And there you have it; the reason why the amount of dogs is the main focal point of the intensity of a friendly challenge. If you were wondering, cats would never have been a good choice. Firstly, Double Cat Dare you sounds like crap, and secondly, have you ever tried to catch a cat?