I found this conversation and decided it was humorous [facebook chat]

This conversation started a long time ago (think about a year at this point), and, enjoying the silliness of it all, saved it in a Sticky. I am doing some relatively late Spring Cleaning of this old lappy, and instead of throwing the whole thing away, here is what I have found.

Erica
well, what do you know about acquiring a bus pass?

3:01pm
Garret
I know the “Don’t get shanked” section is more expensive

3:01pm
Erica
dammit. just like prison.
rich people get everything
‘cept shanked

3:03pm
Garret
in fact, they shank others they’re so rich

3:04pm
Erica
they shank them with heirloom gold-plated shanks

3:04pm
Garret
“This shiv was handed down from your great great great great great etc. grandfather Brutus.”

3:05pm
Erica
he was a champion shanker
you know, i come from a long line of shankers myself
i don’t like to advertise it
but it’s true
we have a protracted and glorious history of bloody, thoughtless shankery

3:06pm
Garret
I would watch out; shankery is frighteningly close to Tom-Foolery
were you related to the Earl of Shank?

3:07pm
Erica
on my mom’s side

3:07pm
Garret
or edward I: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Edward_I_of_England

3:09pm
Erica
ah, yes. my mom’s maiden name was Plantagenet
her brother inherited the family nick name “shanky”
very prestigious.

3:10pm
Garret
best known for writing the documentation to make “shank” both a noun and verb

3:11pm
Erica
yes, yes. and briefly joining the campaign to develop an adjective form of shank
as in “that’s so shank”
or the adverb “you did that shankily”

3:13pm
Garret
unfortunately, according to the pope, there could be only one word in the english language that works as every part of a sentence, and the Duchess of Fuckingberg’s manservant delivered to the magistrate the requisition of wordity just minutes before the Plantegenet family

3:14pm
Erica
despite my family ties to the word shank, i celebrate the swiftness of the fuckinbergs’ manservant
he’s a hero

3:15pm
Garret
nay, a fucking hero

3:15pm
Erica
a fucking hero indeed
that fast fuck
hey will you call me the duchess of fuckingberg from now on?

3:16pm
Garret
he’s the John Wilks Booth of coining parts of speech

3:16pm
Erica
ha!

3:16pm
Garret
you can’t be called the duchess of fuckingberg unless you marry into the family
or chosen from a harem

And that’s all. If I ever write a screenplay, I might include a conversation such as this. It will be quick and witty, and oh so amazing. Now go about your business.