If I Cared About Your Boring Life, I'd Be Sure to Make Fun of It; Oh Wait, I Did

posted in Past Goodness on Nov 9, 2004

It seems like these online journal websites are becoming all the rage with people. Everyone seems to have one. You probably have one right now and don’t even now it. I see nothing particularly wrong with these sites, but 99.9% of them are made by whiny teenage girls who have nothing better to do than to type out their complaints for the world to read. “Like, OMG, my life is so totally over!” It’s as though this online medium acts as a magnet for drama, where every little thing could blow up the entire world. And I can see that logic, like, for example, Hawaii would sink, through a complex series of chain reactions, if you squished a buttefly in Omaha on accident and then that butterfly couldn’t pollinate a flower on a tree and then that tree wouldn’t produce offspring and then an elephant would pass out and fall on a zoo keeper because there wouldn’t be a new tree to supply enough oxygen for the elephant and then the zoo would have to get a new elephant and zoo keeper. The new zoo keeper would come from Australia (because they know so much about animals) and while on a plane flying over the Pacific, it collides with the same plane that the new elephant is on and the wreckage lands in the mouth of the volcano in Hawaii which makes it violently erupt and huge shards of rock fly all the way to the army base and hit bombs that blow up and sink Hawaii. I could see that happen. But these little girls who think that because Johnny didn’t call them last night that the world is going to end, now that’s crazy talk. Now, I can see how some people would say that what I just said is hypocritical because of what I put down on this site. Because, I suppose, these musings could be seen as me complaining about the world. Well, they are. But I’m funny so you can shutu p.