It's Thursday, Not a Holiday

posted in Past Goodness on May 5, 2005

It’s again the time of the year when people in America celebrate a day that has nothing to do with the heritage of our vast union: Cinco de Mayo.  It’s not even in our language (and yes, I realize we have no official language, but we should; Melting Pot my left nut).  So what does this mean for American youth?  Although we’d like to believe that all the kiddies are going to go to the library and research this magical day when the Mexicans beat the French at a Paper-Rock-Scissors game, this isn’t the case.  What is the case is that 90 percent of the “cool” people are going to get drunk and run around eating tacos all night and regretting it in the morning.  Especially if those people have to move various amounts of equipment the next day…  So, of course, this day is nothing more than a reason for college kids to party during the week, although that genereally happens anyway; so, in reality, it’s actually a day that happens to be around the end of school and that also happens to actually have an important (to some people; we call them “illegal immigrants”) historical day behind it that we use as a catalyst for inebriation.  It could have actually been any day around this time, but it happened to be on the 5th.  And besides, Cuatro de Mayo doesn’t have that sort of ring to it.