Jokes About Cracking Nuts = -1

So the campus has put up lights and various blow up Christmas figurines in the quad. They look generally very good except for one: the big, blow-up soldier from the Nutcracker who is saluting. From up close he looks ok, but take a few steps back and because of the way his glove is fashioned, it looks like he’s holding a big, white gun to his forehead. Don’t do it! You have so much to live for, Mr. Giant Blow-up Soldier guy, plus the subsequent hole you’d make with the gun would just deflate your body. I don’t know if that’s ironic or not…Hey, I didn’t even make one joke about cracking nuts. I guess I’m losing my edge, like a nut cracker..who’s cracked..too many nuts or something.