People Still Drive Like Idiots

posted in Past Goodness, People on Jul 29, 2004

If you drive in the rain, put your freaking headlights on! How hard is that? It’s in the little freaking book they give you in Driver’s Ed; sorry, I’m jumping ahead there, you probably didn’t take Driver’s Ed because you were too busy listening to Poison and White Snake while sodomizing your brain with alcohol and pornography, you simple minded, long haired piece of crap. I mean seriously, how hard is it to flip that little switch? Takes about two seconds right? Actually, no, it takes less than that, you lazy troglodyte. So why don’t you make it harder on everyone who is driving today in the rain by leaving your lights off on your big, freaking retarded truck? Thanks, I appreciate it. What, you say that it’s still bright enough outside to see your dashboard? Just because your big, freaking retarded truck is so tall that it hovers above the weather doesn’t mean that you don’t have to turn your lights on. Since you obviously don’t have a clue on how to turn things on, I have an exercise for you: The next time you’re taking a bath in your wooden shack, place a toaster in the water with you and try turning it on. This exercise is great because you only have to do it once for maximum effectiveness.