This Is Why I Use Pencils…

Have you ever looked at the Papermate pens very closely? There’s two little hearts between the words “paper” and “mate.” Isnt’t that cute? But why the heck are they there? How do hearts fit in the grand scheme of Papermate? I suppose you can assume that the pen “mates” with the paper, but that’s stupid because it’s so far fetched. I mean, it took me twenty minutes just trying to find that association. That’s all I can come up with. Or maybe it’s because the company wants us to think that they care for us. It’s not the millions of dollars that the CEOs sleep on every night after they tell the women, who fan them all day while they sit in their thrones, to go home, or after they put the lions they pet with hands covered in golden rings to bed, that gives them nice dreams; it’s the satisfaction that we feel loved because there are two stupid little hearts on our pens. When I have a bad day, my Papermate pen, with its two little hearts, always cheers me up. Thank you little Papermate pen for brightening up my day. I have now abstained from slashing all those tires and kicking all those puppies.