What Ever Happened to Marshmallows?

posted in Food, Past Goodness on May 22, 2005

So have you had these cereals that include the fruit already inside? A lot of them have the fruit nowadays; sliced up in little pieces and scattered here and there. Now I think this is a pretty good idea for most part, at least on paper. Do we all remember what the last thing was that looked good on paper but was not really practical? Communism. That’s what. Now, I’m not saying that little pieces of strawberry and banana are aligned with the Reds, but as far as being crappy in practice is concerned, the little pieces of strawberry and banana fit the bill. I applaud the idea, but the execution stinks. To package the little morsels of goodness, they must be drained of everything moist and turned into little nuggets of dried up former fruit. That’s ok so far, even the astronauts have dried out stuff; but when you put them back into the moist situation, milk for normal people who eat cereal, they drown in the stuff and start to decompose. This results in the opposite of what they were most likely designed for, and turns the little pieces of strawberry and banana into red and white leech-like things that slide around in your mouth. It’s gross. Don’t eat them.