BOOTS!

So the biggest pet peeve of this year: chicks who think those freaking suede boots with the fake fur lining are cool, and chicks who wear those boots with their freaking jeans tucked into them.  Who told you girls that this was a good idea?  Did the latest G.Q. come in the mail with some with the headline: “Boots for Girls Who Want to Look Retarded?”  You didn’t just come from the Arctic.  You didn’t just finish the Ididerod.  You didn’t just save Cold War Russia from a nuclear fallout with America.  There’s no reason that these boots should be worn.  They’re ugly.  They’re stupid.  They make you look fat.  There I said it.  That’s all you needed to hear, right?  Those boots make your ankles look chubby and your butt look big.  In fact, no, go ahead and wear the boots; I’m sure you’ll need all of the lower joint support you can get to accommodate all of the luggage you’re carrying up top.  Lay off of the Milano cookies, hit a treadmill, and burn the boots!