Eating Babies

posted in Food, Past Goodness on Sep 11, 2005

I hear all of these animal rights people gripe and complain about the delicious meats that come from our gentle, bovine friends.  On the top of their list of “beefs” (haha) is that some of us humans love the taste of the baby calf, i.e. veal.  It’s so bad, according to them, to eat the poor little calf, even though his meat is tender and tastes like Heaven in a hamburger.  But what these dirty vegans don’t realize is that they themselves have probably had one or two run-ins with the eating of young.  That’s right, I’m talking about the one and only tator-tot.  The spawn of unlucky parents, these starch ridden children find themselves on the human plates every day.  We happily gobble up the tots, thinking not of the suffering of so many spud siblings and parents who watched as their brothers and kids were dragged off to processing plant and turned into cylindrical cuisine.  So think twice, yon chewer of the tuber, when you dip those little crunchy treats into the blood red katsup; you might have just devoured a future potato president.  …And you thought this post would be about Jonathan Swift.