Food That's Not So Fast

posted in Food on Sep 17, 2006

Like a coke addict who has shaken hands with the white lady for the first time in months, today I had fast food for the first time since early August. It was not a pleasant ordeal. My inner organs that control the processing of food – the stomach, intestines, etc. – were not aware that they would be bombarded with the unnatural comestibles. They fought hard and long, but the battle was not for naught. In the end, my innards came out the victor, but the damage had been done. The message sent back to base was that in the regions of the middle hinterlands had been heavily hit, and they were on fire. The entire country had to nearly shut down to make sure that the areas most heavily hit could rebuild. The United States reconstruction could be mildly compared to what I went through today.

Moral of this story: fast food is bad for you.

Now, to get to the point of the post that I had originally thought of: Sometimes fast food is slower than crap. There is a restaurant in the great state of Oklahoma called Braum’s, not good ol’ Johannes Brahms, but Braum’s. It is the local “ice cream and dairy store,” so they say. Well, this place is good, I must admit, but it is painfully slow. As much as I enjoy their food, despite what I have already written so far, I despise having to wait so long for a freaking burger. Is it really that hard? I don’t want to belittle the brave and courageous burger flipper, but really, I shouldn’t have to wait ten minutes for a darned burger. FIN.