I *Heart* Mullets

posted in Past Goodness, People on Jul 17, 2003

This musing goes out to all you freaking hillbillies who drive around without your shirt on. You can learn quite a few things about a person from just seeing them drive around without a shirt on, like how many years of high school they completed. The more tattoos and the longer the hair they have is directly proportionial to how many years of high school they completed, or not completed rather. Same goes for the size of his truck and the size of his penis. The bigger the truck…the smaller the penis (source: Farmer’s Almanac). But that sort of goes for any regular hillbilly and their truck too. So remember kids, if you want to drive your truck around my town without your shirt on, be prepared for me to make fun of you behind your back.