I Set The Curve

posted in Past Goodness, School on Oct 23, 2003

Ahh, midterm grades. What else can make a normal college student cringe more than midterm grades? Midterm grades are a special thing that lets us know just how much we’ve skipped studying to see wonderful movies like “The Texas Chainsaw Massacre” and “School of Rock.” The grades let us know how well we are doing in school, and they offer an exact prediction of how well we’ll do in the future, because everyone knows a straight ‘A’ student will always have a better life than the average ‘C’ student. This is why we work our tails off year after year, because once we step out of the gates of collegiate education someone will be waiting on the other side to give us a job. And those with straight ‘A’s get at the front of the line, because getting a job has nothing to do with personality or work ethic at all, no no. It has everything to do with with little letters on pieces of paper teachers give out. Now, I’m not here to say that grades are “bad.” Or that someone who’s hilarious but never went to medical school should get a job as a doctor. I’m just saying that I’m mad because I don’t have an ‘A’ in every class.