It Must Be a Slow Update Day

posted in Past Goodness on May 13, 2005

So there’s this new fangled thing on the internet called thefacebook.  That’s right, it’s three words all crammed together.  It’s hip, trust me.  It’s cool, you hippo.  Apparently, what goes on at this place is that you can create a network of friends from long long ago that you’d never think about speaking to.  I suppose that’s a good thing for people who want to change things from high school, like when you wanted to talk to that hot chick but never did.  But since you’re now in the magical world of “college,” and you’re super cool, being of some sort of greek persuasion or having organized an intramural sport at one point in time, you think it’s a good idea to send that hot chick a message in hopes that she drops everything she’s doing and runs to your side.  Not gonna happen.  She might send you a message back saying how much she remembers the old times and how much you should “keep in touch,” but she doesn’t mean it.  Unless you have money.  Don’t forget to hint that you happen to come into a large amount of cash because you developed some piece of crap that ended up on the home shopping network; it really doesn’t matter what it is, she’ll only hear the words “money” and “I have lots of.”  It’s basic ladder theory.  Anyhoo, this facebook thing seems rather neat, though.  I’ve seen some people that I figured would only show up at the class reunion or an obituary, so I suppose that’s alright.  Rating so far: 2 out of 5 old yearbooks that I have painted mustaches on Mr. Horne.