Kid Icarus

After a measly twenty years, I have finally beat this monster. It wasn’t an easy fight, and many civilians were killed in the crossfire, but I did it and have become one of the few in the universe to do so.

For those of you who don’t know, Kid Icarus was released in 1986 for the NES and recently re-released on the Wii. You play as a small Angel named Pit, as you try to rescue Palutena from Medusa’s clutches in the underworld. Your main weapon is a bow, and you jump through almost impossibly hard levels while shooting a plethora of flying red eyeballs, Grim Reapers, and Eggplant Wizards.

Let me get this out of the way right now: this game is not for the faint of heart, at least for the first four levels or so. In the beginning, Pit is a freaking pansy; a little sissy, pansy wuss. He’s pretty much the weakest character of anything ever. You get hit three times and that’s about it, he’s dead. He’s got wings but he can’t fly, and his bow shoots about three feet in front of him. He sucks. You have to overcome his crappiness, however, or you’re just going to be angry at the game. Chances are you’re going to be angry anyway, because from the outset the game doesn’t cut you any slack, and only progresses in getting harder…that is until the second world. If you lucked out and had your health and arrows upgraded a couple of times in the first world (which is pretty much imperative or you’re screwed), then the second world is a piece of cake. The third is equally easy, and the fourth is downright simple. For a game that I played in my youth and never got anywhere with, I was surprised that I was able to blaze right through it this week. It may be because I’m a total badass at video games (and anything in general). Who knows?

For those of your looking to play an (initially) insanely hard game, then Kid Icarus is fine fair. Just don’t wait 20 years to beat it like I did.