Last Election Musing EVER

posted in Miscellaneous, Past Goodness on Oct 26, 2004

I just finished reading a CNN article about how “6 of 10 Americans are skeptical about the election” next week. Want to know how they found this out? Well they had a poll of course! The very thing that supposedly Americans are scared about is the same thing they used to figure out that they were scared about it. I guess it kind of makes sense. I mean, how will you know you’re scared of something before you try it? I wasn’t scared of car wrecks until I was in one. On the other hand, the situation of polling Americans about how they think the government won’t be able to poll Americans is quite funny. So you’re telling me that an online javascript poll made in ten minutes three days ago is more accurate than the system the government has been using for two-hundred some odd years? The government is stupid, but not that stupid. This whole question of the reliability of our polling system wouldn’t even have been asked if it wasn’t for Florida and their inability to read directions. It seems the only reason Florida is a swing state is because the ballot isn’t printed in a large, bold typeface so that all of the senior citizens living out their life in the Del Boca Vista retirement community can read it and vote on the appropriate candidate that will give them massive amounts of apple sauce and pudding to tide them over when they’re waiting for a new shipment of Polydent to arrive. Calm down people and wait for some real news to happen, like when Kerry announces he and Edwards will be adopting a Middle Eastern child together to live out thier days as partners in a house made of aborted fetuses or when Bush announces he finally understands what an aborted fetus is.