My Invention

posted in Past Goodness on Nov 13, 2005

After I get rich and famous and make the money, I’m going to invent a car that detects when it gets pooped on.  When this happens, a gun will come out and shoot whatever has pooped on it.  This isn’t limited to just birds, but birds are definitely the prime target.  We’ve let the birds do this for too long without consequences.  If we can teach dolphins to search for submarines, we can teach birds to not poop on cars.  If this is not possible, then we should take a few birds of each kind, put them in some zoo somewhere, and just kill the rest.  The next time I wash my car and I find poop on it within the hour, I’m going on a bird slaying rampage.  I don’t find random nests in trees and plant a steamy load in their house, why should they not respect my car?