…On The Rails Of A Crazy Train

You’re sipping tea, watching the trees pass by from the window from your cabin, and planning what to do once you get to Paris. There is a hum from the front of the vehicle. You disregard it. “That’s only the 25,000 horsepower engine,” you quip to yourself, but you do remember that you’re heading at a steady 352.7 miles per hour. If France has their way, you’ll be traveling at these speeds every time you board a multi-ton, g-force pulling death train.

This is nothing to scoff at. America’s only innovation for trains came with the invention of the Pullman passenger car in the late 1800s. Since then our scientists have only steadily increased their research into finding out how to increasingly destroy fossil fules. But don’t let me persuade you that the French know what they’re doing, listen to this testimonial:

When we hit 242 mph, it felt like an airplane taking off. The pressure sent pains through my ears as we rocketed past applauding and cheering crowds on bridges and adjacent country roads.

That sounds like a winner to me. They’ve accomplished three things that I always require when I travel: triple digit scores, pretending I’m in a plane, and pain. Nothing like a relaxing vacation without a little: “My brain feels swollen.” Put this one on the books fellas; I feel that France is going to shed their reputation of being non-shaven America haters, and flourish in a new era of unnecessary modes of transportation. I hear their next project is bringing back the bicycle with the huge front wheel, but this time with rockets attached!