Sudden Turn-Around

This week has been wrought with turmoil for me. Last weekend marked a huge change in some of my personal acquaintances, as you all may have read, and throughout the week I got nearly to a point where I wanted to drop out of school. To my chagrin, those two events were not mutually exclusive, and they happened to fall very close to each other. Leaving school was an idea has been stewing around in my brain for a while now, but the other event brought that idea to a fever pitch, and straws were breaking camels’ backs all over the place.

So I went into this weekend feeling like the best idea was to leave everything I’ve built up here, less than a year before I am scheduled to graduate. The idea was to leave school behind, get a job, and start a life away from education. It sounded great. I can’t emphasize my desire to not go to class anymore. The day I don’t have to sit in some class and be lectured to will be a magnificent event. It may be replaced with drudging through my day in an office, behind a cubicle, or, hell, even stocking shelves for a while – I don’t know. But it won’t be sitting in a sterile class staring at the wall while some person speaks at me. I sure do hate class. Now, I’m probably going to have to take more class or at least be taught how to do my job after school, but I’ll be getting paid to do it and I’m fine with that. However, now it looks like I’m going to not start my professional career as soon as I was hoping.

Like I just wrote, the idea was to withdraw from school in the near future and then live in some un-collegiate Xanadu. Whether or not that would be the case, I don’t know, but I went as far as making a Monster.com account in an effort to stir up some job offers (and in the last three days I’ve had four companies look at my resume – neato). Tonight, however, something changed. For whatever reason, I don’t feel like dropping out anymore. I’m three weeks behind in my studies, I have homework to turn in that I’m unsure of, and I need to buy two more textbooks, but I think I need to at least finish up this semester. I’ve never quit anything before in my life besides the junior high basketball team (I didn’t need some middle-aged man yell at me for two hours after school everyday…), so it feels very strange to simply give up on this. I’ve never even dropped a crappy class that I’ve hated. I’ve always stuck them out. Of course, if I finish this semester I’ll go through all of this again, trying to figure out if I should go on with things, but for now I think that I should blow the doors off this semester and bring the thunder.

To start off this new mentality, I actually read a few pages in the one book that I own for my marketing class. It was only $90 used. What a deal. Unfortunately, the aforementioned homework that I have to turn in Tuesday is in a class that I don’t have the book for, so it’s going to be a hectic Monday if I purchase that book. I’ve never come out of a three week deficit of non-studying – much less during graduate courses – so it will be interesting to see how midterms turn out in a few weeks.

So wish me luck, readers. I’ve hit the nadir of my sanity with college and school, but I’m going to try to turn things around.