The Da Seuss Codeposted in Miscellaneous, Past Goodness on Jun 23, 2005
My next novel is going to center around how Dr. Seuss, as part of the Pagan cult The Grinchonites (the people who found The Dead Sneedle Scrolls), made his life’s work center around using cryptic messages in his books and pictures that ultimately gave clues to Noah’s Ark. The Scrolls, found in a remote location on the beaches of the Bippo-No-Bungus Bayou, uncovered the truth about the Ark: aboard were not only sheep, cattle, and other well known animals, but gacks, gherkins, glikkers, two Fizza-ma-wizza-ma-dills, and one asexual Ham-ikka-Schnim-ikka-Schnam-ikka-Schnopp, among others. The Grinchonites, although finding and letting the public know about the Sneedle Scrolls, desperately wanted to keep this information under wraps, as finding the Ark would also lead to a treasure that had not been seen in ages: The gold of King Derwin of Didd. The Grinchonites, formed in the early 11th century, had members including Rapheal, Michelangelo, Donatello, Splinter, Groucho Marx, Seuss, Frederick the Great, and, of course, King Derwin, the founding Grand Master. As the Catholic Church began to come into power, they began to change the names of the animals in the Ark, as speaking the name given to them by Adam had become difficult, and anything difficult for the Church had to be changed. Our giraffe today, according to the scrolls, was actually the Long-Legger Kwong; the hippo, the Ruffle-Necked Sala-ma-goox. These names sounded great to Adam, though the church, now in the midst of becoming an even more powerful entity in the world, could not translate these names into other languages, so they decided to replace them with easier things like bats (Sneetches), lemmings (Single-File Zummzian Zuks), and the platypus (an animal who Adam simply called Thing). The church also wanted to get their mitts on the treasure. The Grinchonites, with their position of keeping this information secret, held the king’s gold for centuries…until now. The clues have been mounting over the years, and now the case has been broken wide open. The book hits shelves soon.