Wow, The Super Bowl Blew

I’m not one who would be a called a football aficionado. In fact, most of the time you could say that I don’t give a crap about sports because I believe that as Americans we spend way too much time giving a crap about these extremely overpaid athletes instead of worrying about actual, important matters. With that said, I still enjoy watching a game every so often. It’s too bad the Super Bowl blew so hard this year it was almost unwatchable. I really didn’t care who won. Up until two days ago I couldn’t have told you who was even playing in the game. I’m calling this year’s Super Bowl unwatchable on account that the game itself was boring and lackluster, and everything that adds up to the Super Bowl experience was equally as awful. Of course, I’m talking about the commercials.

More important than the game (and no, I’m not saying that sarcastically; it’s a freaking game, who cares?), the commercials are what drives the show and makes it interesting. Unfortunately, not a single commercial stuck out as being anything more than crap, forgettable within two seconds. Only one commercial was good enough for me to remember, and that’s the one where the guy is attacked by a giant map monster, and he uses his Garmin GPS map thingy to turn into Ultraman. That commercial was awesome. There were a couple that had to do with a lot of office people fighting in the jungle that could garner a couple of chuckles, and one with an office in space that was ok. The amateur Doritos spot where the guy crashes his car is insanely predictable but alright. The rest reeked of stale crap – blah blah blah beer commercial with horses, blah blah blah Godaddy commercial showing girls, etc. I really don’t like those Godaddy commercials. Not because I’m not a fan of boobies, but because they’ve been doing essentially the same commercial for years and they’re incredibly tacky. None of the commercials did anything new (save for Ultraman, which someone at our party said he saw the day before, so it wasn’t new new), making the entire Super Bowl a huge waste of time.

Luckily, we had Puppy Bowl III on a big screen TV right next to the Super Bowl screen, so there was actually something exciting and interesting to watch. I kid you not, the Puppy Bowl got just as many screams of excitement and despair as did the real football game next to it. Many puppies were represented and went into the gridiron like determined fuzzballs of power. The crowd favorites were the Samoyed pups and one Husky pup named Lucy. The Kitty Half Time Show was also good, but lacked much of the action of the puppies.

So here’s to you, puppies and kitties: a three our program showing you guys running around in a tiny football arena eclipsed all of one of America’s favorite and most overrated past times. Good job, you cute bitches.